Scorched Earth
by Lynnlee22
Summary: An experiment in the redemption of Billy Abbott
1. Chapter 1

"Mr. Abbott?"

Billy sighed in a mix of frustration and relief as the counselor finally entered the room. The concept of urgency seemed wasted on these people. "It's about time," he scoffed. "I've been waiting in here for almost an hour."

"I'm sorry." The middle aged man took a seat at his desk and opened the file in front of him. His face didn't seem to reflect any true remorse as he glanced up at Billy. "I see that you've been here for about six days now. You've been participating in group therapy and you've been reporting to your one on ones." He looked up again. "Is there some sort of problem?"

"Yeah, there's a problem." Billy jammed his hands into his pockets. It had taken every ounce of restraint in him to even stay here long enough to discuss this. He'd wanted to grab his things and head straight for the door. This had been a voluntary decision. He didn't need this man's approval. He didn't need anyone's approval, but he didn't want to deal with all the self righteous comments when he got home. He'd have more than enough to deal with. "I need to get out of here … now."

"Billy. You know that rehab isn't …"

"I'm not some kind of skid row bottom of the barrel …" He stopped talking as he look on the man's face.

"That's not what you said on your entrance interview. You admitted that you had hit bottom. You said you'd done some horrible things, that you'd stolen money from your family, that you'd lied to people you cared about. You seemed genuinely worried about the choices you made. Six days isn't nearly enough to be ready to come back from that."

He shook his head. "I'm not saying everything is all better," he sighed, "but I can't worry about myself right now. There's too much going on back home. I have to go take care of things."

"You have to take care of yourself right now, Billy. You can't help other people if you're not healthy yourself."

"I know the drill," he sighed, "but it's not applicable to this. My whole family is blowing up. I have to go home. I can come back. I can finish this later. I'm still gonna be an addict in a month. It's not like it's gonna matter when I finish rehab."

"It can get a lot worse, you know. You said that yourself. That was why you came in on your own. You said the last time you spiraled out of control, you almost died. You've almost killed someone you loved before. Who's to say that if you put this off, it won't come to that again."

"It won't. I won't let it, but I can't just sit in here and sing Kumbaya in a circle while I know everything going on with my family. I have to go home. I'll be back. I swear it."

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind here." He closed the file in front of him and folded his arms across his chest in obvious disapproval. The leather chair slid away from the desk just as bit as he leaned back. "You checked yourself in, you don't need my signature to get out. So why are you here?"

"I was hoping you'd sign off," Billy admitted. "I don't want to go home and have to hear my entire family bitching about me ditching rehab."

"That's exactly what you need to hear. If you want to leave, Billy, I can't stop you, but I'm not going to recommend it and I'm certainly not gonna give you license to do it." He stared at him for a moment. It was obvious that there was something pulling him back, something real calling him back to Genoa City, but it was equally obvious that it wasn't something he wanted to discuss. "I have another patient that really wants some help," he said finally. "You can stay here as long as you need, but I really do hope you'll think about what we talked about. Just remember … your family needs you healthy and strong. Stay here and make sure that's the Billy Abbott they get."

He sat still until he heard the door close behind him. He couldn't stay here any longer. The story hadn't been very detailed, but it had been enough to let him know that the chaos he'd created had certainly not ended in his absence. It was no surprise to him to see the news story that Ashley was at the helm of Jabot. The blood Abbott clause had obviously been removed and she had wanted the position for years, but now this … the board battle, Jabot's name on the front page of the paper, their father's name splashed about like some daytime talk show paternity scandal. It all made him sick.

Nothing about him was a paragon of virtue. He'd made plenty of mistakes in his past, even the very recent one, but he still had a board vote and he wouldn't let this place cost him the right to weigh in. Going home wouldn't be easy, but there were things to do, people to see, and a hell of a mess to clean up.

* * *

"I'm still not sure this is the best idea, Jack." Phyllis let out a shaky breath as she reluctantly let him take the bag from her hand. "Billy was pretty clear before he left."

"Billy isn't the only one who lives here." Jack paused as he stopped on the landing and turned to look at her. The concern on her face was obvious. "Listen, I know you and Billy are pretty broken right now, but we have no way of knowing how long he's gonna be gone and right now, I kind of take issue with that quote. I don't think it's my enemies that I need to keep closer. I think it's my friends. If I have any chance of winning this war with Ashley, I'm gonna need to surround myself with as much support as possible and you're one of the best people to have in my corner. She's already shown she's capable of anything and if you're here, you can help me keep an eye on things. Between her and Kyle and …"

"Alright." She nodded her head finally. "As long as we're clear that I'm not here to make some sort of statement. I don't want to make things worse with Billy. I don't want him to think that I'm here to spite him or something."

"I'll take the hit on this one." He let his hand rest on her shoulder as she stepped up to meet him on the step. "If Billy has anything to say about this, I'll make sure he knows that this was my idea and that you had nothing to do with it."

She smiled. "Thanks, Jack. I know that you really want that job and I think you deserve it way more than Ashley does, but Billy is …"

"I know," he sighed. "You'll always choose Billy over me."

"That's not what I meant." She closed her eyes as she heard the slight catch in his voice as he said the words. "At least … not like that. I just want you to know that I'm on your side in this battle, but I can't promise you that when Billy comes back … if he wants to take the job again and he feels like he can handle, I'll support that. I have to support him in everything. It's what I promised. You understand that, right?"

He forced a smile as he looked at her. "It's how you've always been," he said quietly. "When you're in, you're all in."

She nodded as she reached for the bag and headed up the stairs.

For a moment he said nothing, simply watching as he heard the soft footsteps fade down the hallway. "And when you're out," he whispered, "you're out."


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost a relief to see the darkened windows. He was in no mood for the welcome home he was certain to receive. No one would expect him back so soon. He'd expected to be gone for months himself, but given what was happening, this seemed like the only logical course of action. The door opened easily, with little noise, as he crept inside the still foyer. Everything was still exactly the same and yet somehow it seemed as if everything had changed so much. His life had fallen apart in front of him before his eyes and what few shreds of it had remained had been blown to bits at his own hands before he finally left for rehab. No one knew that though … at least not yet.

Billy looked up the staircase. He was certain everyone was asleep now. They'd probably been that way for hours. Ashley might not even be here after everything she'd pulled, but Jack almost certainly was. It made sense that he'd been in this house now. He was John Abbott's son in every way that mattered as well as by blood. He'd gained his birthright back, but lost a woman he'd thought of as a sister in the process. What Ashley had done to him was beyond what he would have ever thought her capable of.

The magnitude of everything that had happened seemed to hit him all at once and he suddenly felt overwhelmed with absolute exhaustion. The idea of going upstairs and unpacking was simply too much to consider and instead he pulled the small bag of luggage over towards the corner closet and moved to the sofa. He'd stay there tonight, get some sleep, and hopefully figure out what to do next.

* * *

"Billy?"

He brought his arm to rest over his face as he slipped further down into the cushions. The dream had seemed so real. He'd heard her voice as clearly as if she'd been standing right in front of him. As angry as he was at her, he'd still found himself unable to stop dreaming of her. She was still in his mind almost as a way to torture him.

"Billy?"

His eyes flew open, the voice now clearly a reality and no longer potentially a product of his dreamlike stupor. He struggled to unfold his body, his legs and lower back clearly revolting against his choice of sleeping spot. "Phyllis?"

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in a rehab facility? Why are you back?"

"What am I doing here?!" The concern on her face seemed wildly misplaced. How could she pretend to care about him after what she'd done, after what she'd made him do. She'd driven him to a place he'd never imagined … "That's your question? What am _I_ doing here?"

"Billy," she said again, her voice soft and gentle as she saw his immediate anger rising, "I just … I know that you really needed to go to the facility and the fact that you're already back makes me …"

"That fact that you're in my house makes me …"

"It's not your house, Billy."

Phyllis closed her eyes as she heard Jack's voice. "Jack," she whispered, "Please don't make this .."

He shook his head at her. "I'm not. I just need my brother here to understand that he doesn't have sole discretion as to who does or does not have the right to be here. Phyllis is helping me sort this whole situation out with Jabot and right now I need to have her here to help me keep an eye on this whole Ashley and Kyle situation. Her being here isn't about you, but your being here certainly is. I think her question is the one that needs the answer. Why aren't you in rehab?"

He was on his feet before either of them could say another word. "I don't have to answer to either of you," he spat, "And I'm not going to … not today."

* * *

"Here." Jack took a seat on the sofa beside her as he handed her the cup. "Mrs. Martinez just made a fresh pot."

"Thanks," Phyllis whispered. She leaned forward and placed the untouched cup on the coffee table. "I'll have it later."

"Try not to worry." He sighed as he said the words, "Which I know is like telling you to try not to breathe, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway."

"I just see how angry he is, Jack. He's still so furious and he's already out of rehab and there's no way he's ready to be back here."

"I know that and I think he knows that. He's obviously been reading or seeing everything that's been going on at Jabot and that's probably why he decided to come back now. Hopefully once he realizes that he's in way over his head, he'll go back and he'll get the help he needs." He patted her hand gently. "But until he decides that for himself, until he really wants to get that help, you and I both know there's nothing anyone can do for him."

"I know that here," she said pointing to her head, "but it doesn't do much for me here." She let her hand cover her heart as she leaned back against the couch cushion. "I just hate to know that he hates me so much."

"He doesn't hate you. If he did, he wouldn't be so angry. The fact that he's still got so much fury in him means he still cares a hell of a lot about you and he'll eventually come around. You've just got to be willing to let him go right now. Let him figure this out. You can be right here for him when he does, but until he does, you can't beat yourself up over this." He watched her face for a moment, wondering if anything he said was getting through. "You know I'm right, don't you?"

"I know," she whispered. "I hate it, but I know."

* * *

"Go away." His eyes stared into the glass as he said the words. He didn't want to anyone, least of all her.

She tried not to react to the coldness in his words. "I called you several times." Summer sat down on the bar stool next to him and slowly shifted closer. "I sent texts too, but you didn't respond. I wasn't sure what to think. When I woke up and you were gone, I …" Her words stopped short as he finally met her gaze. The look wasn't what she expected.

"You didn't know what to think?"

"No," she whispered. "I mean, I knew you said you were going to rehab, but I thought you'd at least say goodbye first." She stopped again, rethinking her words, not wanting to make herself sound needy or pathetic even if it was the way she felt in the moment. "Not that you had to or needed to really, but I just thought maybe you would've after that night we had. I mean, it was great, Billy and …"

"Was it?" Even as he said the words, he didn't know why he said them. The venom in his voice when he spoke was foreign to him. It didn't sound like his words echoing in the quiet space surrounding them. The rage that filled him was so consuming that it almost overwhelmed him, threatened to eat him alive, rendered him incapable of keeping it contained. It wasn't just about hurting Phyllis or hurting Summer or hurting Nick. Now he had to hurt himself because of what he'd done because of what could never be undone.

"Yeah." She smiled nervously as she shifted still closer to him. "It was. I mean, what you said, the way you were, it was everything I'd dreamed it would be. And now I know that I wasn't imagining it … You did want me. You always did."

He took a deep breath as he looked at her. Her words made him sick inside and he slid his hand across the bar slowly before he touched her hand and drew her closer to him. "Listen to me," he breathed, "I never wanted you. Not before, not that night, not now. You blew up my entire life. You started this. I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt your mother. I wanted to hurt your father and you gave me the perfect opportunity. You said you wanted me to give into temptation. Well I did. Congratulations Summer. You made me exactly what everyone always said I was. You proved them all right and now, you get to see what it feels like to have your entire life blow up."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: To whom it may Concern: To the lovely guests who like to leave reviews and who choose not to have the decency to create an account so that I might respond, here is my response for you. I will write what I want as long as I want. You are more than welcome to write whatever you'd like in your own fic. Best wishes on that endeavor. ;)**

The contents of one small bottle went down almost effortlessly. The second caught a bit in his throat. His words hadn't made him feel better. The look in Summer's eyes, the complete shock, the hurt, the anger, it hadn't given him the pay off he'd wanted. None of it had. It only served to deepen the pit inside him. He wondered if there was a bottom. If there was an end to the amount of misery he could feel or if it would simply get worse and worse and worse until he just didn't exist anymore. The knock on the door startled him and he stood from the side of the bed.

He jerked the door open, his eyes widening as he saw her standing there. "What are you stupid?"

"For trying to help you when you so obviously are hell bent on self destruction, maybe." Phyllis took a long look at him. It was clear he was in deep. This was far beyond gambling. This was a full blown bender complete with self loathing and destructive tendencies. This was the Billy that could wrap his car around a tree. This was the Billy that could hurt himself and hurt others without a second thought. This was the Billy that did things first and thought later. "You've got to stop this now," she said in the strongest voice she could muster.

"I don't have to do anything," he sneered. "And this is my room. This is actually mine. Nobody else has a say as to who comes and goes here. You can get out or I'll call security and have you thrown out."

"You need security to do that?" She glared at him, her eyes flashing in anger. "If you want to throw me out, do it yourself." It struck her how foolish her words truly were. Billy wasn't himself, but somehow she had no fear of him physically. Billy might hurt himself, but she never believed he'd intentionally hurt her.

Rage welled inside him. "Don't tempt me." The words came out almost in a snarl as his eyes stared into hers. She always knew how to push his buttons. That was what had first attracted him to her. She didn't back down, not from a fight, not from Victor, not from anything. She could hold her own and usually he admired it. Right now, it was annoying as all hell.

She pushed her body further into the room. "What are you trying to do here, Billy. You want to wreck everything? Are there are few pieces of your life that might not be completely blown up? You worried you might have left a few things in tact and you came back to finish the job?"

He held up his hand to block her entry. "I told you to get out." His voice was quivering in rage now.

"And I told you that if you want me out, you're going to have to throw me out." She saw his face contort in frustration again. "What's the matter?"

"You obviously have no idea how furious I am with you or you wouldn't dream of standing in front of me and taunting me like this."

"I know exactly how furious you are, but I also know you, Billy." She stopped and looked at him, really looked at him. The man she saw in front of her wasn't one she recognized, but she knew he was in there. Somewhere under the anger, under the pain and frustration, the soft, loving eyes remained. Somewhere beneath the cold, hateful voice was the deep, gentle one that could whisper her name and nearly buckle her knees. Somewhere behind the harsh brusque touches were the tender caresses that had held her so many times. "You wouldn't hurt me. That's not who you are."

Those words used to mean something. They used to mean the world to him. The fact that she believed in him, that she believed he was innately good, that she trusted him, that she needed him, that she loved him, but now … He just wanted her gone. He couldn't look at her anymore. "You don't think I'd hurt you," he managed. "That's where you're wrong. I'll hurt anyone if you give me long enough."

"Billy," she breathed, "Don't say that. I don't believe that. You just … you're …"

"I slept with Summer." The words came out so fast. They had to because if he'd allowed himself to think, to consider them, to look into her eyes as he'd said them, he feared he might stop. Instead, it was as if time did. She said nothing, did nothing. Didn't move, didn't speak. She simply started at him.

When her voice finally returned and he saw her chest rise and fall with a shaky breath, she only managed one word. "What?"

"You heard me." He couldn't say it again. Wouldn't say it again.

"Why would you do that? You didn't do that. You're lying. You're just trying to hurt me. You couldn't …" He could see the denial, the anger, the pain … all of it flashing over her face as if were slides in a kaleidoscope.

"If you don't believe me, ask Summer. She'll tell you."

She blinked at him, still in disbelief. Finally she moved for the door.

"Phyllis."

She stopped and turned around, her eyes flickering with a final flash of hope as they met his.

"I thought you weren't leaving unless I threw you out," he said flatly.

Her face fell and he watched as she drew in a deep breath. She swallowed once and composed herself for only a moment before looking up at him. "Don't you worry. I'll be back."


	4. Chapter 4

"Summer!" She slammed her hands onto the door again. "Summer, are you in there?!" Phyllis glanced down towards the end of the hall as she heard a door open. The older woman stuck her head out and looked down at her, her eyes flashing in obvious disapproval. On any other day, she probably would have apologized for making such a scene, but today, she didn't care. She didn't care about disturbing these people's peaceful lives. Her own life was falling apart in chunks and now wasn't the time for a quiet, polite conversation. Summer needed to know she was serious and if she thought she could hide from her, she had another thing coming.

"Have you seen her?" she spat as she eyed the woman still clad in her bathrobe.

"I think it's safe to say she's not in there," she sneered, "or at least if she is, she doesn't want to talk to you."

"It doesn't really matter what she wants," Phyllis managed, her voice still shaking in a mix of anger and pain. "She's going to talk to me. I've got way too many questions for that girl and she's damn well gonna answer them."

* * *

Billy felt his eyes open slowly, the sound of the knocking on the door no more welcome now than it had been a few hours ago. He considered ignoring it. It was probably Summer. If Phyllis had found her, it would make sense that she would show up her, needing his reassurance, his support … thinking he'd be the one that would comfort her now. He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head, the feathery puff barely muffling the sound.

"Open the damn door, Billy!"

He moved again. It wasn't Summer's voice. Why had she come back here? He had told her the worst possible thing he could say. He'd driven her away the best way he knew how and yet she was back here again. What the hell was the matter with her? Was it possible she truly was as masochistic as he was? He stood and shuffled towards the door, the liquid breakfast he'd had this morning now beginning to take its toll. Her face was streaked with fresh tears as he let his eyes study her. "What are you doing back here?"

"I'm looking for Summer," she spat. "She's not at the penthouse. She's not at Jabot. She's not at Crimson Lights. And since the two of you are …." She swallowed hard, the words catching in her throat. "Is she here?"

"No," he said quickly before pushing the door. He felt the resistance and stopped short as her hand pushed back. "What are you doing?"

"Please tell me you're lying. Please tell me you just said all that to hurt me. Please, Billy."

This moment was something he'd played out in his head during the week he'd spent at the facility. He'd imagined how good it would feel to look her in the eyes and tell her he'd gotten the ultimate revenge. The shame and humiliation he'd felt after hearing about her night with Nick in front of everyone at the wedding would now pale in comparison to her pain she'd feel, but when it had happened, when he'd actually said it, the feeling wasn't as fulfilling as he'd expected. He'd gotten back at her, gotten the revenge he'd been so hellbent on getting, but he'd also done the one thing he'd sworn to her he'd never do again. He'd hurt her … in a way he didn't think he was capable of.

That was the look her saw in her eyes now. It wasn't anger. It wasn't even pain in this moment. It was shock, total disbelief. She'd trusted him … maybe even more than he knew. She'd truly believed he wouldn't hurt her … at least not in this way. And now he had and there was no going back.

"I'm not lying to you," he said, his voice only slightly softer now. "I've got no reason to. Summer and I slept together." He stopped as he saw the overwhelming pain flash over her face again. "Once," he added. "I wanted to hurt you and Nick and Summer … well, this is what she wanted. You know that. She started all this. And now I ended it. Now it's all over and now you know. You know the kind of person I am."

"No," she breathed, her hands trembling as gripped the frame of the door. "I don't know this person at all. The person I knew, the Billy Abbott I knew would never ever do this. I don't know who the hell this is. I don't know what you …" She fought for breath, the sobs so deep and guttural they felt as if they might tear her chest into. "I can't even …" She could hear the sound of her heart pounding in her ears as she tried to think of something, anything she could say to him and yet there was nothing …

"Just go," he managed. He couldn't look at her anymore. The pain that should have felt so vindicating just felt like condemnation and he hated himself more than enough already. "Just get out of here."

Disgust. That's what the last look was. It was one he'd seen on many faces in his life. On his brother's, on his mother's, but never on hers … and yet there it was, staring him in the face. "Gladly," she spat. And then she was gone.

* * *

"You can't be serious." Jack looked up from the desk. "You don't honestly think there's a place for you here right now."

"I have every right to be here, Jack. I've still got a seat on the board and unless I'm mistaken, there's a pretty big board vote happening today."

Jack sneered. "You haven't even been in town, Billy. You don't know what's been going on. It would be irresponsible at best for you to vote on something when you haven't been privy to the situation." He shook his head as he reflected on his own words their irony occurring to him in the midst of his own utterance. "Of course I don't suppose that's anything new is it?"

"That's me," Billy retorted, "the poster child for irresponsibility. You really should make that one of Jabot's new slogans. Start printing it on the cosmetic boxes or have printed on mousepads and coffee cups for the holidays. It'll make a hell of a swag shop gift item."

"Don't be a smart ass," Jack snapped. "This is serious."

"You don't think I know that. That's why I came back here, Jack. I didn't just check myself out of rehab to come play games. I read the papers. I saw the news. I know what Ashley's been trying to pull and believe it or not, I actually came here to try and help you."

"You want to help me?" Jack looked at him incredulously. "You're right, I do find that hard to believe."

"Listen, I know I haven't been the best brother to you, but I still believe that you want what's best for Jabot and I know that you don't want to see our father's legacy being splashed around the papers like this. What Ashley's doing, it's just wrong … no matter how you look at it and what she did to you, switching the DNA results and making you think that you weren't John's son, it's unforgivable." He paused for a moment. It was probably not for him to be passing judgment on other people's actions, but that was neither here nor there. Thankfully Jack wasn't privy to he and Summer's indiscretion yet.

"At any rate," Jack said, "I still don't know that it's the best idea for you to be here for the meeting. While I appreciate the support, maybe you better just proxy vote and take off. We don't want this turning into a circus and I know that Phyllis is planning on being here too and you two aren't exactly …" He saw the look flash across Billy's face. "What?" he said quickly. "What happened? Did something else go on between you two?"

"I don't really want to get into it, Jack. It's not the place."

"I know you're angry with her, Billy, but I think you should know that the entire time you've been away, the only thing she's been talking about is how much she wants to make this up to you. She really does feel horrible about what she did and she takes full responsibility for the mistake she made. I know it sounds crazy, me sticking up for her in this kind of situation, but …"

"It's not even about that anymore, Jack. At least not really …"

"Well then what's it about?"

Billy paused.

"Everyone is gathered in the board room," Lauren said as she stuck her head into the room. "Billy," she leaned back in surprise. "I didn't know you were going to be joining us."

"It was kind of a surprise to all of us," Jack said calmly, "but he's going to be staying for the vote."

"Alright," Lauren nodded, not wanting to make a bigger deal of the situation than time allowed. "Everyone's here except Phyllis. Have you heard from her?"

Jack looked down at his watch. "No. I haven't. Not since this morning, but I know she's planning on being here and she knows the time. She's probably just running a few minutes late. We'll be in in just a minute." He waited until Lauren disappeared into the hallway before turning back towards Billy. "You really sure you want to go to this thing?"

"I'm not one to hide in the shadows Jack," he said calmly, "You know that."


	5. Chapter 5

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the silence seemed to grow louder and louder in the room. He leaned over towards Lauren, his voice barely audible but still easily heard in the quiet of the room. "This isn't like her."

Lauren shrugged. "Maybe something came up," she whispered, "Though she normally would have sent me a message or something. Anytime she's been late before it's been because …" She tilted her head towards Billy who sat with his arms crossed defensively over his chest at the other end of the table. "But obviously that's not the case this time."

"Have you tried her cell?" Jack checked his phone again, hoping he'd missed a text or a call. It wasn't like Phyllis to miss a board meeting especially one she knew was this important. They'd talked about this very thing this morning, about how much he needed her support and she'd given him her word which, oddly enough, still meant something to him even given their history.

"Three times," Lauren admitted. She didn't want to be worried. Phyllis was only twenty minutes late. There could have been traffic. She could have lost track of time. She could be stuck at a restaurant with a slow server. There were any number of perfectly reasonable, logical explanations. But still … why hadn't she messaged her? Her phone finally buzzed, it's screen lighting up and she felt her entire body relax. "Finally," she breathed. "Let me just take this." She stood up quickly and stepped out the room.

"Looks like I'm not the irresponsible one today," Billy smirked as he moved his chair a bit closer to the table.

"Don't start," Jack warned him. "I'm sure there's a good reason she's running late and I don't think you've got a whole lot of room to be taking any kind of high ground around here."

"Probably not," he chuffed, "but still, it's nice to know others aren't invincible."

It was something about the look on Lauren's face when she stepped back into the room. He wasn't sure he'd seen that particular look ever before. "I uh … I can't stay," she said quietly.

"Was that Phyllis?" Jack asked, the stress obvious in his voice. He could already feel his heart racing in his chest, the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes screaming that something was very wrong. He could see Billy out of the corner of his eye, his entire body suddenly rigid.

"No," she said, her voice still quiet and almost too weak to be heard. "It was Summer. She uh … She said …" She stopped then, swallowing, finding her mouth almost unbearably dry. "She's at Memorial. They're bringing Phyllis in. She wants me to meet her there."

"Why?" He was already on his feet as he looked at her. Jack waited for her answer as he grabbed his laptop and files and moved quickly towards the door.

Lauren said nothing as she still stood motionless, her brain spinning as she tried to process the question and formulate an answer.

"Lauren!" Jack said again, as he finally reached her and gripped her arm in his hand. "What did Summer say?"

"She doesn't know anything," she managed. "She said they just told her they were bringing her in. I don't know … I don't …"

There was no time for anymore questions. The questions didn't even matter right now. "I'll drive," Jack said simply.

He replayed the words in his head over and over a few times as he sat there, listening to sounds of the whispers in the room. It was like the worst possible kind of nightmare. The pain he'd wanted so badly to inflict had been orchestrated in the most diabolical way, but now he was watching it all spin out of control. This was never what he'd wanted. He'd wanted her to know how it had felt to be betrayed, but he'd never wanted this. Never. His legs felt weak as he pushed himself to full height. The eyes of everyone in the room were on him. His sisters watched him with such disapproval without even having full knowledge of his sins. They might never forgive him for what he'd done, but if he just sat here, and did nothing, he was certain he'd never forgive himself.

* * *

Jack searched the busy waiting room for a familiar face as he and Lauren rushed through the double doors. "Over there," he said quickly as he gripped her hand and moved towards Summer.

"Jack," Summer said softly. She threw her arms around him, needing to feel the comfort of someone who didn't know the extent of everything she'd done. "Thank you for coming." She looked over to Lauren. "And thank you. I didn't know who all to call so …"

"It's good," Lauren smiled supportively. "I'm glad you called me. I left a message for Michael. He's in court right now, but he'll get it as soon as he gets out. Did you call your Dad? I'm sure he'd want to be here with you?"

"I tried, but it went to voicemail. I left a message, but …" She felt her eyes burning again. "I'm not sure he'll be too eager to hear from me right now."

"I'll call him," Jack said quietly as he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "What have you heard? Where is she?"

"I don't know anything." Her voice broke a bit as she said the words. It was one thing to want to hurt her mother, but it was quite another to have to face the fact that the horrible things she'd said to her might be some of the last words she'd ever have the chance to speak. "They haven't made it here yet. It was some kind of car accident. That's all I know."

Lauren pulled the chairs closer together as she led Summer to sit down. "Your mom is one of the strongest women I know, Summer. I'm sure she's going to be just fine."

"She has to be Lauren. There's so much I need to tell her." She looked over towards Jack who stood with the phone to his ear. "We haven't been getting along and I've just said some horrible things and …"

"Mothers and daughters are always going to fight honey. That's what they do, but that bond is always and Phyllis knows how much you love her and you know how much she loves you. That's what's important here and …" She stopped, looking up as she saw the look on Summer's face change.

"Hold on." Jack's arm was across his chest before he had a chance to speak. "This isn't a good idea."

"Jack," Billy let the air leave his lips in a measured breath. "I'm not here to cause trouble. I just want to know she's okay."

"I don't think your being here is going make that happen. Why don't you go back to the office and I'll call and give you and update when I have one? The last thing we need here is a lot of drama."

"And that's not what you're gonna get … not on my part at least. I have every right to be here. It's a free country. I just need to know that she's okay. I need to know what's going on Jack. Surely you can understand that."

Jack sighed. "It's not that I don't understand. It's just that …"

"Did you leave?" Billy's eyes shone in anger as he stared him down. "When the two of argued and she ended up falling down the stairs? Did you leave? Or were you here, in this waiting room, parked until you knew she was okay?"

His shoulders fell and the words ceased as he knew he'd been bested. "Fine," he relented, "Just please don't make this worse."


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't understand what's taking so long." Jack paced the length of the waiting room as he looked back at Summer. She sat in the chair, her eyes fixed on something else, something far away on the other side of the room. He followed her gaze to see Billy hunched in a chair in the corner.

"I told him not to make trouble," Jack said quietly as he took a seat in the chair next to her. "Don't worry about him."

Summer looked up. There was such compassion in his eyes. Jack had always been there for her, through her mother's coma, through the paternity mess her mother had created … even when the it all fell apart and his heart was broken, when he found out she wasn't the daughter he'd hoped for, he'd still never left her side. He'd always promised her that he'd be here if she ever needed anyone and he'd always kept that promise. But now, she could only imagine how the look of compassion and warmth would change when he learned of what she'd done. "I just wish he wasn't here. I don't understand why he's even here."

Jack sighed. "Billy is … well," He shook his head. His brother wasn't an easy man to understand, let alone try to explain to someone else. "He's complicated and he makes a lot of mistakes, but so does your Mom. Trust me, I know that first hand. But I think, they both really do love each other. It took me some time to figure that out and even longer to accept it, but I really do think their relationship is something real."

"He has a funny way of showing it," she spat. "I don't think Billy's capable of any real feeling." The venom in her voice surprised him and she could see the change in his face. "I mean," she added quickly. "I just don't like the way he's treated Mom and I don't think he …"

"Are you sure that's all it is?" He'd heard mutterings at Jabot, the watercooler talk was always going on, but he'd never really given it much credit. The mere idea of Summer being interested in Billy was insane to him.

"Of course," she stuttered. "What else would it be? I think I'm just … It's just this waiting. I don't know what's going on. I just need to talk to her. I need to tell her that …" She stopped. She had no idea what she would say to her, even now.

"Don't think like that," Jack said softly. "Your mom's gonna be fine … just fine. You're gonna have years to talk and make memories. Everything's gonna work out. In fact, I'm gonna go see if they've got any update, okay?" He patted her shoulder as he turned to walk towards the nurse's desk.

Her brain screamed at her with every step, but she couldn't stop herself. "Why are you here?" she managed, the sight of him still sending waves of simultaneous pain, humiliation, and guilt through her. "You said you wanted to hurt everyone and now you're gonna show up here? What for?"

Billy looked up at her. He recognized the look in her eyes. It was the same look he saw in his own eyes every time he looked in the mirror. Regret, guilt, humiliation. "I didn't come here for you, Summer. I just want to make sure your Mom is alright. That's it."

"Because you were so worried about my mom when you were in bed with me." She let her breath out quickly. "Well you actually were weren't you? You were probably thinking about her the entire time." A wave of disgust washed over her. She'd been so certain he wanted her when in truth the only thing he'd wanted was revenge. "After everything you've done, after going through so much trouble to hurt her and my Dad and me, you shouldn't even be here. You shouldn't be anywhere near any of us. You have no right. This doesn't even involve you anymore."

"You don't think I know what I've done, Summer!" His voice raised and fell quickly as he saw a few heads turn towards him. "I know how much what I did hurt her and yeah, that was the whole point, but I never meant for it to turn out like this. I never wanted her to …"

"To what?" Summer stared at him.

He turned away from her. "I just … I just want to stay here and make sure she's okay and then I'll go. That's all I want. I just want to know that she's gonna be okay. She has to be …" He couldn't erase the memory from his mind, the look of disgust in her eyes as she'd stared at him. It killed him to think that that could be the last time he'd ever stare into those eyes.

"They should be here soon," Jack said as he stepped between the two of them, his voice stressed as he noted the tension. "The nurse said there was traffic." He shook his head at the absurdity of it all. "But, on the positive side, I guess it's good that they didn't feel the need to be more urgent. They didn't do an airlift or anything, so she must be stable." He saw the relief on his brother's face and he couldn't help but feel a pang of warmth towards him. "She's gonna be okay," he said softly as he reached out and clapped his shoulder. "She will be," he said again, assuredly as he looked at Summer.

The sound of the gurney startled them all and Jack turned quickly to see the crowd of people surrounding it. "That's gotta be here," he said as he moved towards them.

"Give them a minute," Lauren cautioned as she pulled him back. "They need to get her checked out. Let them work."

Summer gripped the back of the waiting room chair as she glanced over at Billy.

"I should have never let her leave like that," he muttered, as he ran his hand over his face. "I should have stopped her. I should have never …" The words stopped as he saw her eyes on his.

Simultaneous dread and horror filled her and she stepped closer to him. "You didn't," she managed in a shaky voice. "You didn't? Please tell me you didn't."

His eyes were wide as he looked at her. He couldn't speak, the truth of what he'd done still haunted him. He'd caused this in every way imaginable.

"You told Mom, didn't you? You told Mom we slept together?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Why, Billy?" She pushed him further away from the others as her eyes glared up at him. "Why would you do that? Why would you tell her this?"

"We can talk about it later." He couldn't focus on that right now. The only thing his mind would allow him to think about was the urgency in the voices of the nurses and doctors as they'd huddled around the gurney being wheeled into the trauma bay. "I need to see if she's okay. I have to see if she's okay."

"Of course she's not okay," Summer snarled as she grabbed his arm and jerked him back towards her. "She's not okay and it's our fault. You had no right to tell her this!"

Her words hit home immediately and the guilt they inspired immediately transformed into rage. "Don't pretend to be some loving, devoted daughter now," he spat. "You practically stalked me for months. You didn't give a damn about your mother or how it would make her feel or how it would hurt her if she found out. In fact, if I remember right, you did this, in large part, as one big screw you to her. So don't stand there and act as if you were some injured party in this. You're in this every bit as much as I am."

"Except I didn't tell her, Billy! I didn't get to make that call. You did and I want to know why!"

"Because she wouldn't quit, okay? She wouldn't leave me the hell alone. She kept pushing and pushing and pushing and I knew the only thing I could say that would finally make her stop would be this and it did. She was …" The look rushed back into his mind, the look of absolute disgust and he felt the wave of nausea again. "She looked at me like she hated me."

"And then what?" Summer stared at him, still amazed by how cold he'd been with her but perhaps even more stunned that he could be that cold to someone he'd claimed to love so fiercely. "What did she do?"

"She was upset and she left."

"When? When did you tell her?"

"Earlier … Earlier today," he said quietly. He'd already gone over and over it in his head. He knew what it meant. He knew exactly the timeline Summer was working through right now. He knew what it meant. He knew what he'd done.

"So you told her that we'd slept together right before …" Her breath caught. Her hand trembled as she brought it to her face. It was one thing to want to hurt her mother, but she never wanted this.

She didn't have to say the words. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He put her here.

* * *

"Summer?"

She felt her entire body relax into his embrace as his arms wrapped around her. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered. "You're the only person I can talk to about this."

"About what? About Billy? What did he do now?" Kyle looked across the room towards his uncle. Billy was a walking disaster as far as he was concerned. Everyone around him seemed to get hurt and lately that pain came sooner rather than later.

Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at him. "Mom," she choked out, "He told her. He told her about us … that we …" She didn't say the words, but the look on his face told her that he understood.

"Why?" His eyes were wide in shock. "Why would he do that? I thought he loved her. I thought he'd come back from rehab and be focused on trying to get his life back together? What's he doing? Trying to blow everything apart for good?"

"Billy still has a lot of anger and he's certainly not back here with a redemption plan. He basically told me that I was a means to an end and that he had no intention of having any kind of relationship with me. He told me I was an instrument of revenge to put it nicely and I thought that was the worst thing he could possibly do in that moment and now …"

"What?" Kyle waited to hear how much worse this could possibly get.

"He threw it in her face, Kyle. He told her about us and he said she was so hurt and upset that she stormed out and …"

His head fell as the realization washed over him. "And now she's here. So she was upset when she was …"

"She had to be." Summer's voice shook as she imagined what her mother must have been thinking. "She probably hates me right now."

"Phyllis could never hate you, Summer. She loves you. You're her daughter. Even when she was mad as hell over all the mess you were pulling with Billy, she was always very clear with me that she loved you and didn't want you getting hurt in all this mess. She's angry, but she loves you."

"I wouldn't blame her for hating me. She should. I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I hurt her this way and now I might not ever get the chance to even …" She looked back towards the trauma bay, her eyes still focused on the closed door. Jack and Lauren stood, their hands clasped together as they waited for word. "They've been in there too long," she cried, "And he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't ever be able to say another word to her as long as he lives."

Kyle wrapped his arm around her as she stood up and turned to face the still closed door. "I just can't believe I let myself go there. My God Kyle, what's wrong with me? Why did I do this? Of all the people in the world to sleep with …why the hell did it have to be Billy?"

"What did you say?"

Her entire body went rigid as she heard the familiar voice. "Dad," she breathed before turning around to face him. She felt Kyle's arm drop away from her as he slowly backed away. The look in Nick's eyes told him this wasn't a conversation he should be privy to.

"I'll just be right over here, Summer," he said quickly.

"Dad," she said again, bracing herself for the oncoming attack. "Let me explain."

"You're damn well gonna need to because if I heard what I think I just heard, it's a damn good thing we're in a hospital right now."

* * *

"Miss Summers? Miss Summers can you hear me?"

Phyllis moaned softly as she slowly turned her head. The slightest movement brought with it a searing pain that immediately made her still. "Yes," she whispered weakly. "I hear you." She forced her eyes open as she tried to study the room. "What? Where?"

"You're in the hospital," one of the voices said. "We're taking care of you. You're gonna be just fine. Do you remember how you got here."

She thought for a moment. "I remember my car," she said. "I was driving and then …" Her hand reached for her head and she touched her forehead before hissing and pulling it quickly away.

The nurse took her hand and eased it back down beside her body. "Easy," she gently replied. "You're gonna have quite the headache. You're more than likely got yourself a concussion here. We're just waiting on the results from some of the tests. Do you what month it is?"

Phyllis sighed. She'd played this particular game before. "It's October," she groaned. "My name is Phyllis Summers. I live in Genoa City. I have two children. I have a sister named Avery. I have a …" She stopped herself before taking a short breath. "had a fiancé."

"You're doing just fine," the doctor replied as he jotted notes down on her chart. "There are a lot of people out there that have been very worried about you. You're a lucky lady to have so many people in your life that love you."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "I'm the luckiest." She knew he was right. She was lucky to be alive, but she couldn't subscribe to that thought just yet. It would have been far luckier to have lost all memory of the hell she'd endured the last week, but instead she'd woke up in pain, both physical and emotional with all of her memories in tact. Somehow that didn't fit her definition of lucky at all.


	8. Chapter 8

"The door's opening," Summer said quickly as she looked at Nick. "Can we talk about this later?"

"No. I think we need to talk about this now," Nick answered. "Right now … right now before I use my time for something else." His eyes fell on Billy again. "I need you to tell me that I misunderstood or that you were messing with Kyle or that you and Billy cooked up this stupid story to mess with your Mom or …"

Summer looked down at her feet, unable to come up with any way to make this sound better. "I …"

"Summer?" He stared at her, his eyes searching her face. When had this happened? When had the little girl that he helped raise become so reckless? "You aren't saying anything. You can't honestly be trying to tell me that you and Billy …"

"It was just one time and …"

"Oh my God …" He turned his back to her, an action he didn't think he'd ever do. No matter what his children had done in their lives, he'd always vowed to support them. His father had disowned him more than once when he hadn't been willing to kiss the ring so to speak and he'd made his own internal promise in those moments that he'd never require such strict adherence from his own children. He'd let them be whoever they were … mistakes and all and he'd love them even if he didn't agree with them. But this … This was beyond anything he'd ever imagined. "How could you do this, Summer? Billy? Your mother's boyfriend? I don't … I can't." There were no words he could say. Everything he considered sounded too much like judgment and everything else sounded suspiciously like condemnation. He shook his head and slowly walked away.

* * *

"So she's gonna be okay?" Jack let out a relieved sigh.

"We can't say anything for sure until we get all the test results back, but based on what we've seen so far …" The doctor stopped as Billy joined the group.

"How is she?" His voice was stressed as his eyes met Jack's "Is she awake? Is she okay?"

Jack held up his hand to stop the barrage of questions. "The doctor was just telling us what they've found out so far." He looked up at the doctor again. "Please go ahead."

"I was just saying that we need to wait and get all of the test results back before we can say anything for sure, but based on what we know right now, it appears a concussion and a few cracked ribs will be the worst of it."

"Can we see her?" Lauren asked.

"You can," the doctor answered with a terse nod, "but keep it brief. We want her to get some rest."

"Of course." Jack's eyes moved back to Billy's. "Are you gonna go in there?"

"Just for a second," he answered. "I just want her to know I was here and I need to see for myself that she's alright, but I'm not gonna stay. I don't think it'll do anybody any good."

Phyllis managed a weak smile as she saw the friendly faces enter the room.

"If you didn't want to come to a stuffy old board meeting, you could have just said so," Jack smiled. "You didn't have to go and wrap that fancy little car around a tree."

"You're right," she groaned. "I guess you figured me out. I was just …" Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jack watched as her face instantly changed, the gentle smile that was there just moments before now a thing of the past. In its place was a rage he hadn't seen in years.

"Get him out of here," she hissed as she looked towards Jack. "I want him out of here now!" She breathed in deeply, the pain it caused nothing next to the seething anger that ripped through her.

"Hey. Hey. Take it easy." Jack turned around, his eyes on Billy for a second before he returned his attention to her. "Listen, I know you and Billy are having some problems, but I think you should know that he's been here the entire time and …"

"Has he now?" Her voice shook as she stared at him. "And has he used any of that time to explain why we're having some problems?" She looked at him, here eyes fixed on his now nervous face. "Have you, Billy? Have you told your brother what you did?"

"Phyllis …" He shook his head as he looked at her, his eyes almost pleading. "Now really isn't …"

"Oh and why not? Why shouldn't we put it all out in the open? You're proud of yourself aren't you? You bested Phyllis Summers. You beat her at her own game. You got the ultimate revenge. Tell everyone. Tell your brother how you won. Tell him how you managed to get back at me, at Nick, at Summer at everyone …. Tell him how you slept with your girlfriend's daughter."

"I …" Jack's face was filled with the same disgust he'd seen on Phyllis' earlier that day.

"What did she say?" Jack looked at him, not at Phyllis, not at anyone else. He didn't want their input, didn't want their answers. He only wanted to hear it from him. "You tell me what she's talking about, Billy. You tell me she's wrong. You tell me you lied to her to hurt her or to get back at her for what she did with Nick, but you better not tell me that you actually did something as despicable as …"

"Mom?" Summer pushed the door open as she stepped into the room. "Nobody told me you were awake. I would have been here. I'm sorry. I …" The room was quiet … too quiet. "What's …"

"And there she is," Phyllis managed, her voice breaking as she looked at her daughter. "There's the sweet, beautiful little girl that I would lay down my own life for … she's come here to make sure that I'm okay, to show me how much she cares and yet she's was perfectly willing to get into bed with the man I love a little over a week ago. I tell you what … that's the kind of daughter every mother dreams of."

Summer's eyes were wide as she looked around the room. She stopped as her eyes met Billy's. "You told everyone?"

He shook his head. "Your Mom. She told them. I …"

"Oh because now you two want some discretion?" Her voice came out as a bit of a laugh as she watched their discomfort. "I'm terribly sorry if I revealed your little coup de grace at an inconvenient time. Life really sucks sometimes, doesn't it?"


	9. Chapter 9

"Summer, don't you walk away from me!" Nick pushed the door open as he burst into the room. "We are still in the middle of a conversation and …" His brain seemed to empty of all thought as soon as he saw him standing there. The gall of him to even be there after what he'd done. "What the hell are you …"

"Wait a minute." Jack let his eyes wander around the room. "This isn't the place for this. We need to take this outside and …"

"Or maybe not. Maybe I should just go and we don't have to talk about this at all."

"Oh we're gonna talk about this," Nick said. "We're gonna do a hell of a lot more than just talk about it and …"

"Not here," Jack said again, his voice more forceful this time. "Phyllis doesn't need this right now."

Nick let his breath out slowly as he looked over at her. "You're right." He turned his head to face her. "I'm sorry. I'll come back and talk with you later. I just …" He shook his head. He had no idea exactly what he planned to do when he stepped out in the hallway. The words in his head were so jumbled, the thoughts so confused. He was furious with Billy but Summer certainly wasn't blameless.

"It's fine," she said quietly. People had tried to warn her about Billy, about how he'd hurt her, about how he'd betray her and she'd been so determined to prove them wrong. Now, in front of everyone who'd been so against their relationship, she was being made a fool of. She watched as Billy, Jack, Summer, and Nick all shuffled from the room.

Lauren stepped over to the side of the bed. "You okay?" she asked softly.

Phyllis sighed. "What's wrong? You don't wanna go watch the show outside?"

"I think I'd much rather stay in here and talk with my best friend. No offense, but she looks like she could use someone to talk to right about now."

"I haven't been a very good friend to you lately," Phyllis admitted. "I've been kind of a jerk and I certainly haven't been a very good wingwoman."

"Oh, we don't need to talk about any of that right now," Lauren smiled. "Right now, I want to know how you're handling all this. I know it can't be easy."

"You know, I've tried so hard to work through it in my head and I know I'm no innocent in this, believe me. I do. I know I made mistakes. I know I slept with Nick and I know that was a betrayal of trust and I get that Billy felt like I was the one person he could count on. When he found out that I'd lied to him, it was like his entire world crumbled, but I just …" She shook her head. "I can't understand why he'd jump to this, why Summer? Why my daughter?"

"He clearly just wanted to hurt you … and Nick and Summer was the one person that could do both at one time." Lauren stopped short as she saw the look on her friend's face. "I know that sounds harsh, sweetie, but it's true. Billy wasn't thinking logically or rationally. He was just being vindictive. He was looking for the most destructive, vindictive thing possible and that's what he went with."

"It's my daughter, Lauren. My daughter …"

Lauren shook her head. "I know … I can't imagine what that must feel like, but I have to ask … Summer had to a willing participant in this too, right?"

"That's a much longer story." Phyllis leaned back against the pillows as her head throbbed again. "Apparently that's been a thing for a while now."

"Summer and Billy?"

"Not anything serious, but Billy admitted that she'd been flirting and coming onto him a few months ago and, when I called her on it, she was pretty forthcoming. Maybe I should expected this, but I never thought he'd actually do it. I never believed Billy would have it in him to want to hurt like me like this."

"Honey, I don't think he truly wanted to hurt you, I think he was so hurt that he felt like he had to. I'm sure he feels terrible about it now."

"It certainly didn't seem that way earlier. He didn't apologize for it, Lauren. He didn't even seem sorry when he told me. He threw it in my face, wore it like some badge of honor. I've never seen him so cold to me. I've never heard that sound in his voice. I don't even know the man I saw today. I don't know what's happened to him."

* * *

"Start talking," Nick demanded as soon as they'd cleared the doorway.

"I don't owe you any explanation," Billy sneered. "I never made you any promises."

"No, you're right. You didn't make me any promises, but you sure as hell made Phyllis some and you go and sleep with her daughter, with our daughter?! What did you do? Get her drunk? Promise her some big promotion?"

"Really?" He couldn't stop the look of almost amusement that spread across his face. "Have you talked to your daughter recently. She's not the innocent little girl you might remember. Your daughter pursued me. Summer was a more than willing participant in all this, so I'm not sure what bull she's been trying to sell you, but …"

Jack held up his hand as their voices continued to elevate. "Can we just keep our voices down here. This doesn't need to be splashed across the front page of every newspaper in town tomorrow. Why don't you just start from the beginning? How does something like this happen, Billy? Why would you sleep with Summer? With Phyllis' daughter? I don't care how angry you were about her night with Nick … this is …."

"Sick, twisted, perverse …" Nick clicked the adjectives off on his fingers. "Any others you'd like to add?"

Billy stared directly into his eyes. "Actually," he breathed, "I'd call it brilliant."


	10. Chapter 10

He was already braced for the impact when he saw Jack's arm flash in front of him.

"Nick, don't."

"You heard him." Nick's voice trembled in absolute rage. He couldn't look at Jack as it would mean taking his eyes off his target. Maybe he had more of his father in him than he wanted to admit. In this moment, he could actually understand the impetus to wipe someone off the map, to do anything it took to rid the world of someone like this. He finally managed to turn away. "Come on Jack. He's asking for it." He lunged at him again, hissing in anger as Jack's hands gripped his shoulders and pushed him back.

"Hold on there." The guard stepped over to the group, his face not at all friendly as he eyed all of them individually before addressing them collectively again. "This is a hospital, not a wrestling ring and you all need to take this somewhere else."

"I'll go," Billy said quickly. "I don't need to be here anyway."

"We're not fi …" Nick stopped as he saw the guard take another step forward. "We will finish this," he continued.

"I can't wait," Billy smirked.

The smug smile on his face made his blood boil and it took everything in him not to jump over the back of the chair and throw him to the floor again, but Summer's jagged breathing as she hunched over in the waiting room chair was more important. He had to talk to her, to figure out where it had it all gone so wrong. He had to talk to Phyllis. There was way too much to do to waste any more time on Billy Abbott.

"Let's go," Jack said, grabbing his elbow and nudging him towards the exit.

Billy jerked away. "I don't need a chaperone, Jack. Besides, don't you want to stay here and make sure Phyllis is alright?"

"Lauren will keep me updated. Besides, I think you and I need to talk."

"Will you be okay out here on your own for a little bit?"

Summer looked up, her eyes still wet with tears. "What? You're leaving?"

"I'm just going in to see your Mom for a few minutes and …" He saw her eyes close and stopped.

"And you know she doesn't want to see me, right?"

"Summer … I … I don't even know where to start, so I think it's best if I just go talk to your Mom for a minute and then I'll come back and maybe by then I can figure out something to say that makes some form of sense."

"You can just say it, Dad. You can tell me that you hate me. You can say that I'm disgusting and that I've done the worst thing in the world and that I should be ashamed of myself and …."

"I'm gonna go talk to your Mom now." He stood up without another word and walked quickly towards the door.

She was alone again, but only for a moment.

"Summer?"

"He can't even talk to me, Kyle."

"He's just … He just doesn't know what to say right now. I'm sure he'll talk to you once he's had a chance to sort it all out." Kyle sat down beside her, letting his hand fall down beside the arm rest. He didn't want to push her, but he wanted her to know that he was there, right next to her, where he'd been the whole time.

"I think he knows exactly what he wants to say." Summer finally managed to look up, to raise her head high enough to meet his gaze. "I just think it makes him feel like a horrible father to say the words outloud. He's ashamed of me, Kyle. I think my own parents may actually hate me."

* * *

"Am I interrupting?" Nick's soft knock on the door instantly stopped the women's voices.

Lauren stood up from the chair she'd pulled to the side of the bed. "No. Not at all." She leaned down to kiss Phyllis' cheek before taking a step back and turning to face him. "I was just telling Phyllis that I was going to head home." She smiled gently. "But you promise me that you'll call me if you need anything, alright?"

Phyllis nodded. "Promise. Thanks for coming."

Nick quickly slid into her place and waited until the door closed behind her before letting his breath out. "You okay?" he asked tentatively.

"You want the honest version or the one you'd find in the greeting card?"

"It's good to know you've still got that biting sense of humor." He tried to smile as he looked at her. She could pretend with a lot of people, but he could see the deep rooted hurt behind her eyes. "Seriously though, you okay?"

"The doctors said a mild concussion, some cracked ribs and …"

"Phyllis," Nick sighed. "I know all that … That's not what I mean and you know it. I'm talking about …"

"Oh you mean the fact that our daughter slept with my fiancé?" She shook her head at the absurdity of it before letting herself consider the statement. "Is he still considered my fiancé if we were only engaged for like two minutes?" She saw the look of pity on his face and it immediately enraged her. "Don't do that!" she snapped. She struggled to sit up straighter and drew in a quick gasp as the pain ripped through her.

"Easy," Nick cautioned her as he helped her ease back against the pillows. "Sorry. I mean, I'm not sorry. I know you hate it when people feel sorry for you and I'm not. I swear. It's just this is a … hell of a situation and … I guess I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help make this any easier, better, less complicated … for you?"

She shrugged. "I think you've done enough." She saw him avert his eyes quickly. "And I didn't mean that the way it sounded. You didn't do any of this on your own and honestly, this isn't even about us or what we did. This is about what Billy did, the kind of person that could do something like this. I'm not even sure I ever really knew him."

"Listen, I've done some really stupid things too … when I was angry and hurt and …" He let his mind think back to some of his more destructive choices. "It didn't mean that I didn't love the people my choices hurt. It just meant that I was too hurt to think about them at the moment. I was just too angry, too selfish …"

"You can't compare what he did to anything you've done, Nick. He crossed the line. He and Summer … what they …"

"About that …" Nick leaned back a bit. "Summer and Billy? When you told me you thought she might be attracted to him I just thought you were being …"

"Paranoid?" She shook her head. "I kind of convinced myself of that too, but then … God, Nick. So much has happened I don't even know where to start." She felt her eyes growing heavy.

"You know what …" He reached out to lightly pat her arm. "We don't have to get into all that now. You need to get some rest. I can come back in the morning and we can figure all this out. For now, is there anything you need? Anything I can get for you?"

"There is one thing," she said softly. "I need you to talk to Summer. I can't right now. I can barely even look at her, but I feel like she needs someone. She's lashing out and I know from experience that that doesn't end well for anyone."

* * *

"Billy, would you just slow down?"

"Why? Why should I slow down, Jack? Phyllis will be back here soon and I can't be here when that happens." He threw another handful of clothing in the bag and zipped it quickly.

"It's a big house, Billy and you have every right to be here. Besides, I doubt Phyllis was planning on staying here very long anyway. I just need her here until we get this whole situation figured out with Jabot and it'll be good for her to be here while she's recovering. Who knows, it might be a good thing for you two to spend a little bit of time and …"

"You can't be serious? You know what I did now. You know why Phyllis and I aren't together. You can't possibly think there's any chance for the two of us after …"

"I've given up trying to figure out what keeps two people together, Billy. Besides, I don't feel like you are the person making the calls here. You're still spiraling whether you realize it or not and honestly, I'd rather have you close by so I know where you are when you really do find the bottom of the barrel."

"That's nice, Jack. I always appreciate that big brotherly vote of confidence with a big hint of condescension thrown in for good measure."

"I'm not trying to be condescending, Billy. I care about you and I don't want to see you throw away something really good here. Phyllis really does love you and she wants to help you. You're so busy trying to hurt everyone in your life right now that you don't even see how much you're hurting yourself. Or maybe you do … maybe that's the point. Maybe you're the person you want to hurt the most."


	11. Chapter 11

"That doesn't look like someone that wants to get out of here today." Nick pushed the door open slowly as he waited for a response.

Phyllis sighed and flashed a weak smile. "Well, you try eating this mess." She pulled the cover back over top of the tray and covered the plastic cup with the lid. "It's really, really bad … like my kind of cooking bad."

"Geez." Nick wrinkled his nose as he stepped into the room. "I kind of thought you might be in dire straits, so …" He sat the paper bag on the table in front of her and held out the paper cup. "I called and checked with the nurse before I brought it. I should probably tell you now that it's decaf. They want you to limit your caffeine until you recover from the concussion."

"No alcohol, no caffeine … this is just shaping up to be a hell of a day," she muttered as she took the cup from his hand. "Thank you," she said softly. "I appreciate it."

"No problem. It's the least I can do … considering."

"You don't have to do that." Phyllis shook her head and she took a small sip of the hot liquid. "This isn't your fault." She couldn't help but laugh a little as Nick's eyes narrowed at her. "Well, correction, it isn't all your fault. I certainly played my part in it and what wasn't already destroyed, Billy finished burning to the ground."

"With a little help from our daughter …"

"Right." She reached into the bag, the normally intoxicating smell of bagels and doughnuts not nearly as enchanting after the mention of her daughter's name. "Were you able to talk to her at all? Figure any of this out?"

"I tried to call her last night and she didn't answer and then when I stopped by the apartment this morning, she was already gone. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she was avoiding me."

"Imagine that." She brought her hand to her head as took another deep breath. "I thought getting her through the teen years would be the death of me. Who knew it would be this. Nick, I had no idea she hated me this much. I mean, I know I was far from the perfect mother, but I really can't figure out what I would have done to make her this angry."

"Don't do that to yourself. Summer is … different now. I think she changed a lot while she was off finding herself these past couple of years. We can't blame ourselves for that."

"Do you think she did that? Found herself? Because if this is really her, Nick? If this is the real Summer …"

"I know," he sighed.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Jack's soft knock stopped the conversation immediately.

Phyllis looked up quickly. "No, Jack. Come on in. Nick just stopped by to bring me some breakfast."

"I see … That was very nice of you, Nick."

Nick stood up slowly. "I should probably let you two talk."

"Actually, I just came to pick Phyllis up. She's getting released today and I figured she'd need a ride. I know they said you can't drive for a week or so."

"I could have called a car, Jack. You didn't have to go through all that trouble."

"It's no trouble," he smiled. "I brought you a change of clothes here." He held up the small bag by his feet. "Luckily you had already brought most of your stuff to the house, so I had Mrs. Martinez get your room all ready and …"

"Jack … I don't know if …"

"Don't even start. You can't go back to the living in a hotel room right now. For one, the doctors were clear that you need to take it easy for a couple of days. For another, I still need your help with everything at Jabot and …" He studied her face for a reaction. "And that's not even your argument is it?"

"I know I said I'd come and stay there while I was helping you with everything with Ashley, but now that Billy is …. I just think it's gonna be way too hard and …"

"Nick, you wanna help me out here?" Jack looked over at him. "You tell her she can't go live in a hotel room right now?"

"Jack's right about that. You need someone to help you out … at least for a couple of days, so unless you want to come stay at the house with me …"

Her hand found her head again as she rubbed the side of her temples. "Because my life isn't a big enough train wreck?" She smiled at him. "Look, both of you are making way too big a deal out of this. I'll be fine at the club. There's room service and housekeeping and if I need it, I can even have a nurse come in." She waited a moment, hoping Jack would concede before finally leaning back against the pillows. "You're not gonna let this go are you?"

"Not until I'm helping you upstairs to your room," he smiled. "Come on, it's the best solution and you know it. Besides, Billy was packing his suitcase the last time I saw him. In all likelihood, he'll be gone before we ever get there."

"He's leaving? To go where?" She couldn't help the pang of concern that welled up within her everything she thought of him. As angry as she was, she still cared about him, still wanted to know he was okay, still needed to believe that there was something good in him.

Jack shrugged. "I don't know. I tried to talk to him. I still feel like he's …" He stopped. "You know what … it doesn't matter. You don't need to be worrying about him right now. You need to be focusing on yourself and getting yourself better and that starts with coming back to the house with me and letting me help you. There's nothing wrong with getting a little bit of help."

* * *

"For the record, Jack, I still think this is a bad idea." She walked through the door as he held it open.

"Duly noted," Jack sighed. "Why don't you just go have a seat on the sofa and I'll get Mrs. Martinez to make us a pot of tea?"

"You don't need to go through any trouble, Jack." She heaved herself onto the sofa in frustration. "I'm here like you wanted me to be, but you don't have to treat me like I'm some sort of invalid. It's just a couple of cracked ribs and a mild concussion. A week of being driven around and some headaches … that's it."

"Speaking of the headaches, the pharmacy will have your medication messengered over a little later. The doctor said it could cause dizziness so I think maybe you should stay in my room downstairs for a few days."

"Phyllis …" Kyle stepped into the den, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw Phyllis and Jack sitting on the sofa. "I didn't expect to see you here so soon. I'm glad you're doing better."

Jack stood up, his body quickly stopping Kyle from getting any closer. "What are you doing here? And what is all that?" For the first time he noticed the stack of boxes by the wall.

"Oh." Kyle smiled. "There's been a little change in the living arrangements around here."

"What kind of a change? I've been gone a couple of hours. How much could possibly change in a couple of hours?"

"Life happens fast, Dad. Surely you know that." He leaned over to see Phyllis and smiled again. "Besides, I think Phyllis will be much more comfortable with me as a neighbor."

"Wait? You're moving back into the main house?"

Kyle nodded. "Billy said you were all concerned about him not being close by, so we talked and I agreed to move in here and let him take the pool house. It's a simple switch really."

Without even looking, he could feel the shift in her mood. "Why don't you just go get your stuff settled?" Jack sneered. It was obvious Kyle had taken great pleasure in this announcement. He knew Phyllis would be less than thrilled to know Billy would be living so close and Billy had obviously intended to avoid all of them by sheer will alone. He waited until Kyle flashed yet another smug smile before returning to the sitting position again. "Before you even say anything…"

"You said he was leaving …" She was already sitting up straighter, her body poised to stand. "I can't handle this right now, Jack."

"And you won't have to. You heard Kyle. Billy took the pool house so he wouldn't have to be here, so he wouldn't have to see any of us."

She rolled her eyes slightly. "Billy took the pool house to appease you. To make it seem like he was making better choices while still keeping up the same destructive cycle he's …"

"You know how you just get the feeling that people are talking about you?"

Phyllis stopped, her heart immediately dropping as she heard the sound of his voice. She wanted it to fill her with instantaneous rage. She needed to be disgusted by him, by what he'd done, by why he'd done it, but in the moment, his voice brought a relief to her, a quieting to the constant worry that he wasn't okay. And that realization did bring anger, but the anger was with herself.


	12. Chapter 12

"Don't let me interrupt the latest Billy bashing session." Billy strolled through the living room as he shot a glance towards her. "I'm just getting the last of my things and then I'll be out of here."

"Kyle told us about your little arrangement," Jack said dryly. He turned towards his brother, his eyes sizing him up. It was hard to know what Billy's true motives were. There were times he thought he might be genuine. The concern he'd seen in his eyes when he'd showed up at the hospital seemed completely sincere, but the petty, vindictive tone in his voice now seemed equally earnest.

"You said you wanted me close by, Jack. Your words, not mine. I think your exact phrasing was something about wanting to know my exact whereabouts when I hit bottom."

Phyllis cut her eyes at him. "You told him that? You said you wanted him to stay here?"

"I thought it was better than him taking off again to who knows where to do who knows what, but if it's gonna be a problem … if you don't think you can handle being here with …"

"Last time I checked this was the Abbott house and she's not an Abbott … at least not yet. She's a little banged up right now, so I'll give her a few weeks before she has you at her feet again."

"Stop it." She hissed the words through clenched teeth as she felt the familiar venom rise up inside her. "You're being an ass."

"Just being myself. You see, I'm tired of trying to twist myself into lotus positions to be someone that you want, someone that you approve of. I've been doing it my whole life and I actually convinced myself that you were different … I convinced myself that you weren't like the Abbotts, that you weren't like Victoria, that you weren't like my mother and all the other people that have tried to keep me in line all these years. I convinced myself that you really accepted me for who I am, flaws and all, but it was a lie, wasn't it? It was all a nice story to tell to the gullible idiot who'd believe it."

"That's not true. That's not what I was doing. I wasn't thinking that. I wasn't …"

"You know what? It doesn't even matter now, because I know better. I've seen the light." He lifted his hands above his head as he raised his voice dramatically. "I know now what everyone tried to tell me about was true. I know that you can't be trusted. I know that you can't commit. I know that you can't be honest. You made a fool of me once, but you won't do it again." He stepped closer to her, the pain on her face inspiring more anger in him. A month ago, her pain would have wrecked him. He would have done anything in the world to take it away, but now it seemed almost offensive. How could she stand there in front of him and presume to act wounded? After what she'd done? Everything he'd done to her had been retaliation. Too much? Too far? Probably. But he would have never even considered such an act had she not struck first.

"That's enough, Billy." Jack's voice was stern as it echoed through the now still room. "Phyllis doesn't need this right now and I'm not gonna stand here and listen to it. Nothing productive is happening here. I've asked Phyllis to stay here. She needed a place to take it easy for a bit and I needed her help with some things at Jabot. I'm not kicking you out of the house, but I'm not gonna let you stand here and berate her because of your bad choices."

"My bad choices? As if she played no part in this at all? As if nothing she …" He stopped as he saw Jack's hand raise.

"The sequence of events has been well established for all of us here … for the whole town for that matter. We don't need to rehash it over and over again. You said you're moving on, so why you don't you do that? Get your things and go get settled into the pool house." He watched as Billy stood still, his eyes slowly moving from the floor to her face.

"Fine," he hissed. "I don't need to be here anyway."

She exhaled slowly as she slumped down on the sofa.

"You alright?" Jack placed his hand on hers as he studied her face. "I know that was exactly what you were trying to avoid."

"Well, it was bound to happen eventually. And he's not completely wrong, Jack. I've lived up to every awful thing everyone warned him about. I've done exactly what people told him I would do and no matter how much I apologized for it, it doesn't change the fact that it happened."

"No," Jack watched as she leaned back against the sofa. His hands quickly fluffed the pillow behind her. "It doesn't change what happened, but it certainly doesn't excuse his behavior either. What he did … I don't …"

"Please." She brought her hand to her head. "I don't even want to think about that right now. I can't."

"Of course. Of course not. Why don't I help you get settled into my room and you can just rest for the rest of the afternoon. I'm sure you can find some of those crazy dramatic movies you like so much."

She couldn't help but smile at the suggestion. "They could probably use my life as a solid plot line of one of those," she groaned. "I swear, I thought this kind of stuff was behind me. I really thought that I'd come to the point in my life where all the chaos was in my past and I could look forward to a future with some stability and …" She stopped, confused by the look on Jack's face. "What? What's that look for?"

"Phyllis? Stable? I don't know about that. I think you've already liked to keep things interesting and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't let Billy get in your head. He's just trying to throw barbs right now and he's gonna use every weakness he can think of to make you doubt yourself. It's how he keeps from looking at his own faults."

"That might be true, but you gotta admit, with everything I've done and all the mistakes I've made, I must be crazy to still be making the same stupid choices."


	13. Chapter 13

Jack glanced down at his phone before opening the door. "Nick," he said in confusion, "I didn't miss a meeting or anything did I? I didn't think we had anything set up until mid week."

"No, you didn't. I'm actually not here about work. I thought I'd drop by and see how Phyllis was doing. I know it's been a few days and I figured she was probably climbing the walls by now."

He shrugged. "Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you? She normally hates laying around and doing nothing but the last few days, she's actually seemed okay about it. At first I thought maybe she was honestly just out of sorts from the accident, but now I wonder if maybe the whole Billy thing is really getting to her more than she wants to let on."

"Billy?" Nick stepped past Jack into the room. "I didn't think Billy would want to show his face around here after what he did."

"You're clearly underestimating my brother." Jack shook his head a bit as he thought back to the confrontation in the hospital. "He worked it out with Kyle so he's staying in the pool house and Kyle's staying in the main house for a while. It's been interesting to say the least."

"Interesting? That's one way to put it." Phyllis padded into the living room. "Still working on your diplomacy, I see."

Jack let his eyes meet Nick's for only a moment before turning his attention back to Phyllis. "Nick just stopped by to see how you were doing."

"Well?" She stopped and held her hands out by her side. "How does it look like I'm doing?" His hesitation told her everything she needed to know. "You don't have to answer," she said quietly. "Your face already did."

"Hey. No." He reached out and grabbed her arm. "Jack told me that Billy's staying in the guest house. I'm sure that hasn't made things easy on you."

"I think that's kind of the point isn't it? Billy wants to do everything he can to make me miserable right now and he's doing a pretty damn good job."

"Don't say that too loud," Nick smiled. "He might hear you. You don't want to give him that satisfaction do you?" He smiled wider, hoping to illicit at least some form of emotion in response. She barely looked like herself. The Phyllis he knew was always put together. This woman wore yoga pants, a zip up sweatshirt, no make up and her hair pulled back in a ponytail that hadn't seen a brush. She was past the point of caring and that much was obvious. Jack's concerned gaze connected with his eyes again. "Maybe it would help if you got out of the house for a little while. I know you wanted to talk to me about Summer. We could go grab a bite to eat maybe?"

"I don't know, Nick. I don't really feel like going anywhere right now."

"Actually, I don't think that's a bad idea. I think it would do you some good to get out get a little bit of fresh air. You've been cooped up in here for too long and maybe getting away from the situation will help." Jack stood in front of her, his eyes scanning the somewhat annoyed look on her face. "Look, I know I was the one that suggested you stay here, but maybe it wasn't a great idea. I don't think it's helping you to see Billy every day especially with the way he's acting right now. It's not helping either of you and I don't want to see either of you get hurt or hurt each other any more than you already have.

* * *

"You gonna eat anything or do you just plan on pushing it around on your plate?"

Phyllis looked up at him, her eyes a bit surprised.

"Come on, I've seen Faith pull that particular trick about a hundred times. It doesn't actually look like you've eaten anymore when you push it around on your plate. You can actually look like you've eaten when you actually eat. So why don't you give it a shot?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why don't you stick to parenting your actually children and let your ex-wives live their own lives?"

"No offense but it kind of looks like you could use a little help living yours." He meant it as a joke, but the pained look on her face stopped him cold. "Phyllis," he said softly, "I'm sorry. It was a joke. I didn't mean it like that. I know things seems really horrible right now and I was just trying to lighten things up a bit. Trust me, my life has fallen off a pretty steep cliff too."

"Still no progress with Sharon?"

"Sharon and I are about as over as it gets. She doesn't even want to be in the same room with me. The only time she speaks to me is when we have to discuss something for Faith and even then it's cold as ice. And what's even worse, I can't even blame her. I know how hard it was for her trust me and I broke that trust again …"

"With me," Phyllis sighed. "I did the same thing. I know how much Billy needed to believe that I was going to be there for him no matter what and I knew what finding this out would do to him, but it still didn't stop me from doing it."

"Your situation is totally different from mine though. What you did is miles apart from what Billy did. Sleeping with me is nothing compared to sleeping with our daughter especially when you consider why he did it." Nick could feel his anger growing again. "And now, Jack tells me he's been using these last few days to throw things in your face? I'd really like to have a few minutes alone with him. We really need to get a few things straight."

"No you really don't. You really need to try and get your family back together. You really need to try and rebuild your life because unlike me, you actually have something to save. You have a family and children and a life that you need to get back to." She slowly pushed some food onto her fork and stared at it. There was little she could think of that would be less appealing than the thought of trying to force the salad down her throat.

"You say that like you don't have anything. You still have people in your life that love you Phyllis. I know you and Summer are not in a good place right now and I get it … I really do, but she's always gonna love you. You're her mother and you've got Daniel and Lucy and there's Jack and Lauren and Michael and you'll always have me."

She forced a smile. "I know that and I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I just don't think that's possible right now." Her head throbbed again. The headaches had been incredibly persistent and even the medication they'd given her had barely even taken the edge off. "In fact …" She took a deep breath as she raised her eyes to meet his. This was bound to be a struggle. "I know we said we'd talk about Summer, but I honestly don't feel up to this today. Maybe we could talk another time?"

"Phyllis," Nick sighed.

"I'm not putting you off, Nick. I honestly don't feel like it today. I've got a headache and I'm just not up to it. Please, can we just talk later."

He could see the soft lines forming in her forehead. It was obvious that she really didn't feel like being here with him. "Okay." His voice was tinted with genuine concern. "Let me just pay the check and I'll take you back to the house."

"No." She interrupted quickly. "I'm sure you need to get back to the office and I could use the air anyway … who knows, maybe it'll help me feel a little better. It's actually not so brutally cold today so I can walk through the park. I've been wanting to stop by Jabot and pick up some files from Lauren. I'll call her and let her know I'm gonna stop by."

"Ummm …" He leaned back a bit as he eyed her cautiously. "I'm not sure I'm good with leaving you alone to walk through the park by yourself when you're not feeling well. You just got through telling me that you weren't feeling well enough to sit here and have lunch and a conversation. Now, you're well enough to walk over a mile to Jabot?"

"Nick." She laid her hands flat on the table in front of her. "I have to find some way to put my life back together. Right now, it's in complete shambles and I'm going to feel like absolute crap until I'm not utterly and completely ashamed of what I've allowed to happen to my world. I need to do this. I need to do something productive for myself. Can't you understand that?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I actually can. I think that was kind of what was behind my whole Dark Horse movement. I wanted to have something of my own to prove to my father that I could do it, to prove to family that I could do it, but more than that, I think I needed to prove it to myself, so if that's what you're feeling … if you feel like you need to prove to yourself that you can dig out of this hole, I totally get that."

She smiled as she reached out and patted his hand. "I knew you would."

Nick stood up as he watched her stand slowly. She gathered her coat and let him help her put it on before leaning in and lightly kissing his cheek.

"I'll see you," she whispered.

* * *

"Well. Well. Well. Just the person I didn't want to see." Nick felt his entire body tighten as he said the words. Billy's shadow seemed to cast a dull gloom over the entire area as he walked over. "How stupid are you to come over here?"

"What? You think I'm afraid of you or something?"

"I think it's funny that you wait to come over here until we're in a very public place. I don't think you'd be quite as willing to come over and chat if we were somewhere else … say a dark parking lot with no cameras."

"Pfft, Dark Horse, gangster, you got any other alter egos hiding in there?" He took a seat across the table as he locked eyes with him. "Never mind. I didn't even come here to see you. Jack said you and Phyllis had come to eat lunch. I need to talk to her. I need to give her something."

"I doubt very seriously she wants to talk to you and I'm even more sure that she doesn't want anything you have to offer."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she'll want this," Billy sneered. "It's the money she gave me to help pay back my gambling debts. I liquidated some of assets and I'm giving her her contribution back. I don't want to owe her anything. I don't want anything from her. So, where is she?" He turned around in his chair and scanned the room.

"She's not here," Nick answered.

"What do you mean she's not here … Jack said you took her to lunch. She can't drive yet, so if you took her here, she can't very well leave without you."

"She wanted to get some air," Nick countered. "She wasn't in the mood for lunch and wasn't up to a conversation so she left, wanted to walk …"

"Wait." Billy held up his hand, Nick's words immediately cancelling out every other thought in his mind. "You let her leave by herself? Did you miss the part where she can't drive yet?"

"She's not driving. She wanted to talk a walk, said the fresh air might help her headache. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Nothing wrong with that?" He was on his feet already, his eyes scanning the periphery of the park. "So she tells you she wasn't feeling well, tells you that she isn't up to talking, and you just let her walk out of here on her own?"

"Don't start acting like you care about Phyllis now. You're the reason she's in this position. You're the reason she got in the accident in the first place, you and your stupid, childish choices. If it was up to me, you'd never lay eyes on her again …" His hands grabbed Billy's shoulder and jerked him back in front of him as he watched him try and walk away. "You're not walking away from me right now. Jack might want to take it easy on you because you're his brother, but unlike him, I don't give a damn how you feel. You've ruined Phyllis' life. You took advantage of my daughter and I'll be damned if I sit back and watch you continue your path of destruction. You leave Phyllis the hell alone."

"So what? So you can go after her? So you can swoop in and take care of her? You know, Nick …" He grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his shirt, his teeth clenched and bared as he spoke to him. "I could let you take care of her if you were doing that. I could leave well enough alone and let you mark your territory until you screw it up. I could do all of that if you actually knew how to take care of someone, but you suck at it, Nick. You can't take care of anyone but yourself. That's why she's out there now. That's why I've got to go find her."


	14. Chapter 14

His shoulders slumped in frustration as he walked down yet another empty stretch of the park's path. He'd been walking now for what seemed like hours even if he knew it was probably only a few minutes in reality. The anger and bitterness inside him had quickly taken a back seat to the dread and worry that now filled his mind. It was the same sense of dread that had overwhelmed him when he'd rushed into the hospital nearly a week ago.

It had terrified him to think that he might never get a chance to see her or talk to her again, that the words he'd said to her in anger might be the last things he'd ever say. And yet even still, even after being given another chance to make it right, he'd allowed his petty ego to take over. He'd been cruel and harsh with her, never once considering how his words might really be affecting her, or even worse knowing full well how they were and simply not caring.

But that was the rub, wasn't it? He did care. He would always care … no matter how angry he was, no matter what she did, no matter what he said. He would always care about her, about her life, about where she was and what she did and if she was okay. That's why he was here now, looking for her, desperately hoping and praying that she was okay … as if anyone up there was even listening to his words anymore.

And then just like that, he saw her. His entire body seemed to relax as he stood there for a moment, just letting the image burn into his brain. She sat on the bench in the middle of the park, the same bench on which they'd sat together many times in the past. Part of him just wanted to stand there and watch her, knowing all too well that the second she saw him, she'd bolt. He couldn't blame her. He wouldn't want to hear what he had to say either. Still, he had to make sure she got home okay. The worried whispers in his head wouldn't stop until he did. He slowly stepped over to the bench, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he braced for her reaction.

She looked up, the dread an almost immediate response now.

It was hard to see it in her eyes. Those eyes used to hold such affection for him and now they held nothing even remotely akin to it. Now she seemed to wish he'd just vanish from her life … maybe even from the world.

"Please Billy." Her voice was almost desperate as she glanced up at him. "Not today. Can you just leave me alone?"

"It's a public park isn't it? I was just taking a walk, enjoying the break from the bitter cold. You know how these Wisconsin winters can be." He shifted his weight from foot to foot. The awkward small talk felt especially weird with her. They had never had any use for it. There had never been any need. His eyes fell on the empty spot next to her. He wondered if she'd leave if he tried to take a seat.

She followed his gaze, her mouth instantly drying at the thought of having him so close to her. "I'm asking you again," she said quietly. "You owe me this. After what you did … you can at least do this one thing for me, can't you?"

He sighed before moving quickly and sitting down beside her. "I'm not going anywhere. Jack told me you and Nick were having lunch and I …"

"You can't possibly have something to say about that?" Her voice trembled a bit as she looked at him in utter disbelief. "You have nothing to say about what I do or who I do it with now."

"That's not what I meant. I was looking for you because I wanted to give you something." He reached into his jacket pocket, noting the look of almost trepidation on her face. "Here," he said as he handed her the check. "I wanted to give this back to you."

Her hand was shaky as she took the paper from him. He watched as she blinked a few times before looking back up at him. "What is this?"

"I'd think that would be obvious," he said.

"I'm not into the riddles today, Billy. Can you just tell me what this is about?" She placed the paper in her lap, letting her hand rest on top of it. The pain in her head hadn't subsided at all and as much as Billy could be a headache, she knew he wasn't the cause of this one.

"I didn't figure I need to owe you anything and I'm sure I'm not worth this kind of investment to you anymore anyway."

"Investment?"

He watched her face, her mind clearly spinning as she tried to understand his words. "Oh. The money for the gambling debts. You uh …" She adjusted her body on the bench again, the pain in her head now radiating through her shoulders and neck. "How did you come up with … you didn't have …" She stopped there, hoping he'd understand and answer the question.

"I liquidated some assets," he said slowly. She wasn't acting like herself. Something wasn't right. "Phyllis." He reached out, his hand touching her arm for only a moment before he pulled away. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." She shifted away from him instantly, her body hugging the far edge of the bench. "I'll be even better when you leave me alone."

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Why don't you just let me take you home?"

"Because I don't want to be anywhere near you. I don't want any help from you. I don't want to owe you either. Surely you can understand that."

His jaw clenched. She had a history of this, of using his own words against him. She was smart and he normally found her acerbic wit endearing but in these moments when she used it against him, it was maddening. "I get it, but what are you planning to do? Just sit out here by yourself until you get up the nerve to ask somebody for a ride?"

"I'll call a car when I'm ready to go," she snapped. "I'm just not ready to go yet."

"Because you want to spend some more time with me?" He leaned back and settled into, crossing his arms and letting a small smile cover his face. "Alright. I've got some time."

"I came here to get some time alone, to think, to decompress, to be calm and quiet, and …"

"It's kind of hard to do that in a public area." He shook his head and gestured to the people as they walked by. "You'll probably be better off in a spa or one of those weekend retreat things … what are they like zen yoga gardens or something? I've seen the brochures in the break rooms at Jabot."

"Would you please just shut up?" Her head continued to pound as he muttered on incessantly.

"If I'm bothering you, you could always just go home." If she wouldn't let him take her there, at least he could push her to call a car and go there herself. One way or the other, he had to know she would get home safe. There wasn't any other option for his peace of mind.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? You'd like it if you could control every single aspect of my life. If you could make me so miserable that you could make me stay or go … No matter how angry I am at you Billy Abbott, I will not give you the satisfaction of controlling me to that degree. You will not have that much power over my life. I …" She couldn't stand it. Her words were powerful, but her resolve wasn't. The smug smile that seemed to creep up on her face was more than she could stand and she summoned all her power as she pushed her body to her feet. "You know what? Scratch that. You win."

It was one step. One giant step for her. One step away from him. A statement, proof that she wouldn't let him make her this miserable anymore. It was supposed to be the first of many steps that started the distance between them, but instead it was the step that she wasn't ready for, the one that caused her legs to buckle beneath her. The ground spun as she grabbed for the bench that was now just out of reach and instead of creating the distance she'd been trying so hard to maintain, she now found herself right back in his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

"Phyllis. Come on. Phyllis." She could feel the darkness as it tried to swallow her up, the almost overwhelming heaviness of the black haze weighing her down. "Stay with me here."

Billy's voice was louder now and she felt his arms wrapping tighter around her as he led her back to the bench.

She struggled and managed to finally open her eyes, her head bobbing a bit as she fought the next wave of dizziness that rushed over her. "I …"

"It's alright." His hands were warm against the cool, clamminess of her skin. "You're okay. Just relax for a minute. Catch your breath."

She couldn't fight him now and relented, her body leaning against his as she tried to take his advice. The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled her into a sense of comfort she hadn't felt in some time, not everything had come crashing down as a result of both of their actions.

"Nick should have never let you leave alone," he whispered as his hand gently brushed the hair away from her face. "You shouldn't have been out here by yourself. If anything had happened to you …"

"It's not Nick's fault," she managed. "I just needed some time. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think and then …" Her head still throbbed even as the she felt a little more steady in his arms. "It's just this stupid headache."

"Will you please just let me drive you back to the house?" He could feel her intake of breath and he had no doubt the protest was coming. "Come on, Phyllis. I can't leave you here."

"It's just … I'm not sure I need to even go back there. Maybe it's too much for me to be there. Maybe all of this is just too much." She'd been thinking about it for a few days now and even though she hadn't mentioned it to Jack, being in that house wasn't helping her. The memories she'd had there, even the good ones, had been tainted by the way things ended. Her marriage to Jack had culminated in a tragic set of circumstances that left everyone hurt and the time she'd spent there with Billy had done nothing to remove the dark cloud that still hovered over the space.

"Look, I get it. I know it's probably not your favorite place to be right now, but you don't need to be by yourself right now. Just let me take you back there and then if you still decide you don't want to stay there, I'll help you move wherever it is you want to go." Her silence continued to concern him. "You keep telling me that I owe you, right? Let me do this. Let me at least give you that much."

"Alright. Fine. But this doesn't mean anything. This doesn't mean that I've forgotten what you …"

"I know, okay?" He held up his hand, his eyes pleading with her to stop. "Let's just get you out of here so I know you're alright."

* * *

He'd always hated silence. In rehab, there had been an annoying therapist there that had tried to convince them that they should be comfortable with silence. Silence, he'd said, was peace and stillness and an anxiety associated with silence meant you weren't comfortable with who and what you were. _No shit_ , he remembered thinking to himself. The bastard was right, but it didn't help him to know why he hated it – he still hated it.

The silence gave him time to think. He thought about the things he'd done, the things he regretted, thing things he wished he hadn't said, the things he wished he had. The silence that filled the car now was especially painful. Phyllis wasn't the silent type. Even when she was angry, it was almost impossible for her to give anyone the silent treatment. Her feelings were too powerful, her mind too filled with thoughts. They fought … hard, but they also laughed, and loved. He missed her.

The car slowed to a stop as the familiar house came into view. He let the air leave his lips in a slow sigh as he waited for her to say something. "I want to walk you inside, okay? At least let me help you get settled?"

Apparently she'd gotten pretty good at the silent treatment now.

"You don't have to talk to me, okay? You don't have to like me, but please don't ask me to just walk away." He reached out and touched her face, fully expecting her to jerk away from him, but she didn't.

"Phyllis?" The entire drive had been filled with silence as she'd sat, with her head turned towards the window. He'd assumed she'd been trying to avoid him, too consumed with her anger and disdain for him to even acknowledge his presence, but now …

The silence was broken by the sound of his heart pounding and he leapt from the car and rushed over to the passenger seat. The car door opened easily and he reached for her, hoping against hope that she was just angry and ignoring him but knowing in his heart that she wasn't. Her body slumped down against the seat belt as the support of the door fell away.

"What's going on?"

Billy turned and looked back at Kyle's confused face. He hadn't even realized he'd been screaming her name.

"Call an ambulance, Kyle. Call them now!"

He turned back towards her, his arms gently easing her back into the car. "It's gonna be okay," he whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. He let his eyes leave her face for only a moment, to look up towards the sky. "If this is punishment," he whispered, "I get it, but not this way, please. Not with her."


End file.
